Last month, etiquette expert Karen Cleveland looked at the etiquette of fundraising and how to ask friends and family to raise money for a good cause. Today, Karen’s back addressing an issue that far too many people frequently deal with: Sexist remarks. Here are some suggested tactics and etiquette tips on how to respond. 

Have you ever had to deal with disparaging remarks because of your gender? Women around the world face unique challenges because of their gender. While girls in developing countries face different trials than we do here in Canada, sexism knows no boundaries and unquestionably exists here. How can we respond in a respectful way, to motivate change, instead of anger or acquiesce? You might recognize some of these situations. 

1.  Patronising language You and your friends might call each other “sweetie” or “honey”. When such affections come from someone close to us, it can make us feel cozy. But when a stranger addresses you as “baby” or “honey” and it doesn't feel good, you don’t have to accept it under the guise of being polite. If you don’t like it, there is nothing at all rude about reminding someone of how you would like to be addressed. Here’s how that might look, simple and to the point. “My name is Karen, not baby. You were saying?”  If you feel intimidated making such a correction, don’t let your body language betray you. Square your body language, speak slowly and clearly. 

2.  Upsetting jokes Never feel compelled to play along to a situation that makes you feel small. Whether that means reminding someone of how you’d like to be addressed, or not feeling like you have to laugh at an offensive joke to fit in. Being polite doesn't mean compromising your values. If someone telling an offensive joke asks why you’re not laughing, you can say that’s not your type of humour. 

3.  Picking on flaws Bullying girls’ bodies is unfortunately nothing new, but often the time-tested “take the high road” approach still sticks. If someone is making cruel remarks about your body, pull them aside in person and tell them it is hurtful. Your diplomacy might inspire them into better behaviour. Even if it doesn’t change their behaviour, you can take solace in knowing you took the high road. Here’s Amy Poehler explaining an example. 

4.  Should men hold the door for women? I don’t think enough doors are held open, period. Can’t we all just hold the door for each other? I hope that no one would ever take offense to someone holding the door for them, and that no one would let a door shut on a person for fear of offending them.   

Have you been subject to a sexist remark recently? Tell us about it.